I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
