We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
