so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
