I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
