he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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