the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i now understand why vodka
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
