i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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