Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
