I showed him my bush... on skype.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
