I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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