Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
