she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He? As in you personified your dick?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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