So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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