My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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