i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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