is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
