I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
