Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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