there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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