Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
