he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My ass is underappreciated
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
