I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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