Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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