google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i will never coherently bang her
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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