hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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