i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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