You just made me feel so damn special
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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