its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
