im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize