How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
