i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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