Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
