He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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