Whod you bang
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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