I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
