He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
