there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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