I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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