so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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