AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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