my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
