today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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