Your tits are I can't wait for
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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