Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We are two peas in an std pod
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
