I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Terrible idea I love it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
