And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
