I think i peed on brittanys purse
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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