Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
