Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
