i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
do herpes really smell.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i now understand why vodka
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
