Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
