do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize