You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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