So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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