It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
