Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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