i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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