We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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