How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
