Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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