Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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