She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
one might say we're banned from that church
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize