I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize
