maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
