I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
