I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
