just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
