so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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