Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
