It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I understand Curling. That high.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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