After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
