a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize