At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
how drunk are you?
Several
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
