Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
everyone is single if you try hard enough
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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