why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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