sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
