k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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