Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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