You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This baby is an asshole
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
