well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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