i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
